All Is Not Lost !!!

A 10-year-old boy decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident. The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training. Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.

Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches.

The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.

Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals. This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be over matched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened. "No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion. On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?" "You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

Jokes... (Rib Ticklers)

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.

She asks Gita why she is an Indian.

"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."

The teacher is now angry.

"That's no reason", she says loudly,

" if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then? "

A pause, and a smile. "Then" says Gita, "I'd be an American."

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Guy.-Do u know, wen i was a kid so many girls wantd to kiss me, i allowed, but now i want 2 kiss so many girls, but they dont allow. SELFISH GIRLS

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Once 'Constant' and e^x ( e raised to x) were walking down the road.
Suddenly 'Constant' screamed and said:

"I m going bcoz 'Differential' is coming and if he sees me he will
eliminate me."

But e^x stands firm in front of ' Differential' and says:

"U can't do anything with me. I m e^x and will always be e^x."


'Differential starts laughing??..
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Why??
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Differential says:
"ha ha ha I m not d/dx, I m d/dy ."

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HRD Notice of a company to employees!

Dear STAFF,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

1) TRANSPORTATION:
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.


3) LUNCH BREAK:
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.


4) SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


5) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.


6) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.

- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else.


Best Regards,
HR Manager

De- Motivational Posters

Tired of inspiration posters in your office that urge you to do things the company wants you to do? Here are some that are not what the boss had in mind!

CRIMSON

Crimson is the color of the blood

shed for you and me

Shed two thousand years ago

on a hill called Mt. Calvary

God showed His love

and His Grace

To us --

an undeserving race

He left us here to be

His arms to give hugs,

His feet to go and tell

of His love to a lost and

dying world

.

Crimson is the color of the rose

that grows as an expression of

His love for us

He tells us to share

this good news we bare

to all the world

that He cares

He's gone up above

to make us a home up there

He sent His Spirit

to us here below

So that we might share

of His love from there

in Glory

So as we're here below

its our job to tell others

of His love so pure and

of Heaven so bright

While we're here

we have to tell the story

of Christ's love

and our home with Him in Glory

.

If we won't share of this love

then who will

It's our job as God's sons and daughters

to share the story of what happened to His Son

on a Cross over two thousand years ago

While we're here we must share

So we won't be held responsible

for friends and loved ones

We don't want them to hell

so we must tell them the Gospel

God wants us to tell our friends

here below

of Him up above

He was beaten and bruised and killed

due to His love for us

but we won't tell

the story of His love

how He left His home above

Or a walk up a street called

Galgatha on His way to His death

He didn't complain

only pray for God's will to be done

Crimson is the color of the blood
shed for you and me
Shed two thousand years ago
on a hill called Mt. Calvary

How often do we forget the price

He paid for us--

It was His life

due to His love for us

.

I don't know what he is to you

but to me He's Master,

Savior, Friend, Comforter,

Lord, King, Prince of Peace,

Ruler of my heart, Rose of Sharon,

Bright Morning Star,

He's my all and He's my everything.

The Getaway ....(Self-Reflection)

LORD give me wings;
give me wings so I could fly away !

In a middle class family - I took birth;
was taught to be tough, strong and alert.
Be whatever the problem, I was told;
THINK THINK THINK , till new dimensions unfold.
Like a good child, to GOD, I used to pray;
GIVE me wings so i could fly away !

Where is that feeling ? That felt so incredible;
Life was great, things fine and events logical.
Never thought anything was impossible;
This playground YOU gave us was a beautiful miracle.
Guess now I am too tired of the little games YOU play;
GIVE me wings so I could fly away !

Look at YOUR playground now - all battered and torn;
Now I wonder why on this planet, I was born?
Guess things took a wrong, unplanned turn.
Why do people, each other , betray ?
Brothers upon brothers , why do they prey ?
Don't think anymore, here, I can stay !
GIVE me wings so I could fly away !

Maybe I am wrong -- May be its all right !
Maybe its all just like a dark stormy night !
And like every - this too will just turn to a brand new day;
GIVE me wings so i could fly away !

Then one morning - thinking this regard;
Like a blazing meteor - it struck me hard.
Life's like that ! -- after every high it hits a low;
because up there - things seem small down below.
Why did it take so long to , this mesage, convey ?

Maybe its one of those tricks YOU play !
GIVE me wings so I could fly away !
Things sometimes happen because so they are meant to be;
Seems thoughts have risen to a higher degree.
Be fair to all -- Oh LORD -- to thee , I plea !
YOU aren't fair to us all - I hope YOU agree !
From this new obstacle, YOU won't see me flee,
I now see , what YOU want to me to see , and why I be !

I now know why , those wings, from me - u took away;
LORD, don't need them anymore, I am here to stay !


guys i hope u like it..........

-Ħåmiltoή Georg€

The Clock of Life

The clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour.

To lose one's wealth is sad indeed,
To lose one's health is more.
To lose ones' soul is such a loss
That no man can restore.

The present only is our own,
So live, love, toil with a will,
Place no faith in "Tomorrow,"
For The Clock may then be still.

-Robert H. Smith,The Clock of Life (c) 1932, 1982

The World Is Mine (& urs too)

Today, upon a bus,

I saw a girl with golden hair.
I looked at her and sighed .

I wished I was as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,

I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch.
But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, GOD, forgive me when I whine
I have 2 legs, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh, GOD, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood and watched the others play.
He did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
And then I knew, he couldn't hear.
Oh, GOD, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears, the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, GOD, forgive me when I whine.
I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.